How to be your OWN HERO!!!

Not just for Addictions!!!!

Here are four strategies that work against you.
Which of these strategies are you trying right now?
1) The first strategy that works against you: JUST TRY HARDER!
If you have tried hard to quit your addiction before and failed, then you may be experiencing the Swing Effect:
Take a moment to imagine a painful and embarrassing experience caused by your addiction.
And you say:
"That's enough! I am done with this! I am going to change my life before it's toolate!"
You make a resolution and begin to pull away from your addiction. You try really hard, but sooner or later, gravity kicks in and you swing back to your addiction.
"If I can't quit, I might as well party for all I'm worth!"
You shop till you drop, or you book a gambling junket to Vegas and max out your credit cards, or you buy that chocolate cake you have been dreaming about and eat the whole thing in one sitting.
At some point you are faced with the consequences of your actions. You feel sick and disgusted with yourself again.
"How can I have allowed this to happen again? I can't stand being like this. I don't want to live like this anymore."
Again , your desire for what your life could be and your disgust for what it is pulls you back in the opposite direction again.
Have you ever felt caught in the Swing Effect? Is there anything more exhausting? You never win!
You keep swinging from one extreme to the other. You get sick and tired of your addiction, so you decide to stop and you swing back the other direction. But your willpower only lasts for so long, before gravity pulls you back towards your addiction again. Does it feel like the more effort you put into quitting, the harder you swing back in the opposite direction? Does it feel like your craving and desire just keeps building – growing stronger – waiting to be released?
Listen carefully . No matter how strong you are, if you are caught in a pattern like this - swinging back and forth will wear you down. When you feel that all your efforts to quit actually works against you that is really discouraging... Then Strategy 2 starts to look pretty good.
2) The second strategy that works against you is : "I CAN KEEP IT UNDER CONTROL."
Once you have felt the pain of the Swing Effect, and the disappointment that comes with it, you naturally will try to minimize the violence of the swings. You feel like, "Why am I putting all my energy into quitting? It's obviously not working! I will put my effort into just keeping it under control. "
You try to keep the Swing Effect within narrower limits you can live with. You try to manage out the Wildest Swings and keep your life together.You try and make a truce with your addiction.
When you use this strategy you are likely to hide your behavior from your spouse, your kids, your boss, and the neighbors because you measure your success by how much you appear in control.
But with this strategy you will often feel like you are somehow giving up on yourself. You may not be going overboard on your addiction, but it still seems like you're losing what is most important to you. You begin to accept that you'll never have the life you really want. You may even start telling yourself that you don't need or want a great life - you begin to settle for the limited pleasures of your addiction.
The harder you work at keeping your addiction hidden or "under control," the more you feel the essence of who you are - is slipping away.
3) The third strategy that works against you is: "I AM POWERLESS."
Many recovery programs begin by getting you to agree that you are "powerless" over your addiction.
And if you have been losing with the first two strategies -- if you have been unable to stop or control your addiction, then it is very easy to buy into the belief that you are indeed powerless to do so.
If you resist accepting the belief that you are powerless - you are often told that you are in denial. If you don't want to "surrender to a higher power" - you are often told how selfish you are. Now your experience may have been completely different…But let me ask you this: Have you felt that accepting yourself as powerless and surrendering has been the condition of you moving forward in a program – the price of admission even?
Some of these "experts" actually want you take on the life-long label of "addict" or "alcoholic!" As if that is who you are! (It isn't!)
If seeing yourself as a powerless victim to your addiction is what you really want, then this strategy works great!
But do you really want that? I don't think so.
I think what you really want is to experience yourself as powerful. You naturally want to see yourself as the hero in your own great comeback story…and go on to create the life of your dreams.
So... Never give up your power !
Don't just say "No" to your addiction. Say "No" to giving up your power!
There are ways to overcome your addiction without surrendering.
I want you to feel the rewards of being your own hero. I want you to know that you are in fact, not powerless.
You really are Powerful, and you really can Create the Life that you want and deserve. But not if you're using poor strategies.
The fourth strategy, that people sometimes try, takes ALL of their power away!
4) The fourth strategy that works against you is: " I SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE OF ADDICTION."
Often, the belief that you suffer from a disease can seem like a great relief when you are exhausted from using strategies that don't work. It can seem like a life-line when you feel like you're drowning in a sea frustration, confusion, guilt, shame and disappointment.
If you believe your addiction is a disease, you can stop blaming yourself as much and get a little relief from the guilt and shame. If you are a victim of a disease then at least it's not YOUR fault.
You can also be accepted in support groups that also believe that addiction is a disease.
So this strategy succeeds in making you feel less guilty, and more supported.
The problem is that once you convince yourself and the people in your life that you are a victim with a disease, then you never see yourself as "normal" again. You see yourself as somehow broken.
These days, it seems that everything is being a called a "disease".
Addiction can cause a lot of problems, some of them with severe medical consequences that require treatment. But addiction is not a disease.
Addiction is a TRAP you fall into when you make a habit of giving up your power for feelings of comfort. Addiction is a trap you fall into when you begin to compromise what is most important to you in life and settle for strategies that provide short-term relief from the pain of giving up your most precious dreams.
You Don't Have To Take On The Label of "Addict" or "Alcoholic" As Part of Your Lifelong Recovery.
How can you possibly win with this strategy?
Or with ANY of the above strategies!
Using these types of strategies is like playing a game where you can't really win, because deep down you feel like you are still losing.
Aren't you tired of playing losing games?
Four Things You Can Start Doing Right Away To Turn The Tide In Your Favor...
1. STOP PRESSURING YOURSELF.
Stop getting mad at yourself . Stop trying to force yourself to quit. If you are trying to quit in order to live up to someone else's idea of what you should do, then at some level you will also rebel and sabotage your own progress.
The harder you try to conform, the more you will feel the need to resist - in order to balance out the scales. How many times have you felt that resistance building up in your gut when somebody close to you tells you what you "should" be doing about your addiction?
That's even true when YOU are Trying To Discipline Yourself, often using the very same words and negative techniques used on you when you were growing up.
It's as if you stride to the center of your own mind and say to all your competing desires and drives, "All right, there's a new sheriff in town...and what I say goes!"
What feelings come up for you when you take on that role: Harshness, Coldness, Anger, Disgust, even Self-hatred?
The more you take on the role of Sheriff, the more your inner Rebel will be empowered to righteously battle against the injustice of your (or anyone else's) iron discipline.
We all have a little bit of rebel in us - that's healthy, you can use that spirit to help you get free. But to win over your Rebel Heart, that part of you must feel that this new possibility is the ultimate expression of your loving-kindness toward yourself and not some straight-jacket method of coercion.
If you try to force it, you become the enemy of your own Rebel Heart - the part of you that still yearns to be truly free and whole. Give yourself credit, there is a part of you that would rather die...than submit to outside pressure.
What if you could begin a new journey where you felt free , maybe for the first time in your life, to choose for yourself the way you want to go in life. What would that be like?
2. ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE... AND WHO YOU ARE... NOW.
Try this exercise right now :
Take a moment to take a deep breath or two. Let all the pent-up stress release as you exhale.
Now as you just breathe quietly through your nose, let your attention be drawn to the air flowing into and out of your nostrils. Just follow it in and out gently as you read these words.
Now first read the next paragraph... then close your eyes and try it:
Soften your eyes and gently smile. On every out-breath, with infinite loving-kindness, smile on this person searching for a better life. Let your smile be a blessing that flows downward, as you bow your head, feel that infinitely gentle smile blessing flood into the heart of this unique, beautiful soul. And on every in-breath allow yourself to receive this blessing/smile. Give your blessing on the out-breath and fully receive it on the in-breath.
Close your eyes just for a minute or two right now. Don't worry, I'll wait . :-)
How did that feel?
This is a space you can create anytime. Here you can begin to discover what is really most important to you in life. What do you really want?
Real power grows from within you. You begin by creating a safe, non-critical space for self-honesty.
First, accept where you are - then face it.
First, accept who you are - with warmth and loving-kindness - then face Who You Are Choosing To Be.
When you can be at peace with your situation, you can see a way to begin to free yourself from it.
3. FACE THE CHALLENGE.
Freeing yourself from your addiction is nothing to make a quick decision about.
Most people who try to "quit," make the decision without really understanding the challenge that lies before them.
Your Path To Freedom IsFully Facing Your ChallengeLike a Warrior!
People unknowingly train themselves to settle for passive, momentary pleasures over actively pursuing what is most important to them. The risk of falling short of your dream, and what people might say (and what you might say) about you is very uncomfortable.
Telling themselves they are going to quit can be just a way to make themselves feel better about their situation.
It's not something they really are committed to. Not really. So, of course, as soon as the going gets a little tough, they go right back to their addiction.
They never really Faced The Challenge. They don't really want to climb the mountain.
But the mountain of challenge is where all the real juice of life is hiding! It's where all the joy and the passion and the meaning and purpose in life are hiding!
· Facing what is there for you in this present moment - with honesty and kindness is the key to taking your power back!
· Awakening to your power of choice in this moment is the fire of life and all possibility - the rest is all smoke and mirrors.
· Choosing to climb the mountain and free yourself from your addiction is like choosing to be a mountain climber for the rest of your life.
You can choose to become a master climber , which means:
You expect to stumble. You don't give up when you stumble. You learn from it. You get back up, and keep going. That's how you become a master mountain climber.
The only way to master any skill or art is to be FREE to experiment and make mistakes. You build your skill and confidence by trial and error.
But in recovery, any stumble only reinforces the belief that addiction is a part of a never ending process of BEING YOUR OWN HERO AND BEST FRIEND!